Here Is Where We Begin
by castlet0pia
Summary: SEQUEL to 10:24:13 PM After the revelation of their feelings in the hospital, Kate and Rick continue their partnership, but with some changes along the way.
1. Chapter 1

**Here is the promised sequel to 10:24:13 PM. You should read that first, otherwise it will make little to no sense to you.**

**This will be a multichapter story.**

**Hope you like it. **

* * *

The ache from Kate's injuries doesn't disappear completely, not even in a month, a lot of Castle's hands touching her and drinking gallons and gallons of coffee.

Kate has thought that going back to the precinct, being able to throw herself into work, was going to help her forget about everything, but those thoughts were quite quickly overridden by the intensity at which Kate has been feeling…things.

Mostly Castle. And his hands. And his mouth whispering into her ear.

These past 4 weeks, Castle has been driving her absolutely mad. She thought it was bad before, when they were still keeping secrets from each other and the guilt haunted her every time she looked at him, but she could still feel that inexplicable connection, that physical draw to him. But now? After the talk in the hospital, Castle has been different.

More determined and more pushy and more touchy. Meaning, he's been touching her whenever he has a chance. His fingers wrapped around her elbow, or his hand on her shoulder, or just his leg pressed against hers. They've always had that boundary – looking but not touching – but Castle's made an end to it.

And oh, Kate's glad he's done it. Because his touch is better than any medicine she could get.

A week after Kate's accident, she was released from the hospital. She went home, of course, but Castle insisted on being there with her most of the time.

So Kate has been feeling a little invaded, but she promised him that she'll try. Without excuses.

The first day she got home was the hardest.

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

"Castle, stop it. I'm not a little baby. I don't need to be watched over 24/7." Castle retracted his hand from her waist and stepped back. The only thing he did was help her get from the bathroom to the couch, seeing as her leg was broken. But she made helping her really hard.

"We have a deal, Kate."

"That deal doesn't include you pestering me like a little child. I can take care of myself."

"You broke your leg, goddamnit. You still need help."

"Not all the freaking time. I go to the bathroom and you're there. I go to the kitchen and you're there. You're everywhere and I feel like I'm suffocating, Rick." The use of his first name hit Castle right into the chest. She's only ever called him 'Rick' when she was mad.

"What is your problem? I told you that I was going to be here to help you. You think it's fun for me to watch you in pain?"

"Castle –"

"You promised you will try. And that we'll do this together. There is no other way to start doing that than this."

Kate shut up. She couldn't for the hell of it understand why he was so eager to be helping her. It's not like she was shot and… Oh.

_Oh_.

"Is this about last summer?" she asked him timidly. Castle's eyes widened and he scrubbed a hand down his face.

"Look, Kate –"

"You said yourself that we have to be honest with each other. This is the time to be honest with me, Rick."

"I don't know if you can handle it."

"Handle what?"

"My emotions. My thoughts. You get scared whenever things get serious and I don't want you to run." Kate couldn't quite decide if she wanted to hit him for suggesting that she's a coward (not like she isn't, right…) or if she wanted to just tell him to go and never come back. But both of those would kind of mean the end of their relationship, and she didn't want them.

(The first one could still work, though. She was pissed as hell.)

"It's not like I can run now. My leg's broken, if you haven't noticed," she joked instead, but Castle's eyes clouded over.

"We should probably go sit on the couch for this then. You shouldn't be standing that long anyway."

So he helped her back to the living room and she situated herself on the couch. Castle sat himself a few feet away from her, and she felt the coldness around her body. He was too far away from her.

"Yes. It is about your shooting." Kate exhaled shakily.

"I thought so."

"When you… When you told me you'd call me and that you needed time, all I could think about was, 'I want to help her get better, I _need _to help her get better', but you shut me out completely, Kate. I didn't know how you were doing, if you hurt, where it hurt, how much help you needed. I called your dad once, and he told me it's best if I don't see you like this. Broken and hurting. I begged him to tell me where you are, but he said no. He said he needed to respect your wishes. So I did, too. But it hurt when you didn't call even once, Kate. It hurt like hell." They were silent for a few seconds and the only thing they could hear was the sound of car honks and sirens from the New York streets.

"You called my dad?" Rick huffed. "That's all you have to say?"

"No. Not all. Just one of the things. Castle, I didn't know. I didn't know you were hurting, too. And I am sorry. I truly am. I only ever wanted to be good enough for you." Castle smiled sadly and told her quietly, "Kate, you were always perfect to me. Even when broken and hurting, you'll always be perfect to me."

"I can't understand that. How can you be like this when all I've ever done was hurt you?"

"Nothing makes me sadder than you. But nothing makes me as happy as you. Alexis excluded." Kate smiled.

"I'm sorry. Again. I'll say it a thousand times if needed, Castle."

"You don't have to. It's not okay what you did, but we're here now. And we're moving forward. That's enough for me," he told her sincerely, then took one of her hands in his. Kate intertwined their fingers as best as she could and squeezed. He squeezed back.

"For me too."

* * *

First day home was like that. Castle left at 10 PM, when she went to sleep, tucked her in and kissed her forehead , her nose, and made her chuckle.

They had that same routine for 10 days, and then Kate insisted she was okay to be moving around on her own. Castle admitted that she was making progress, physically and emotionally, and he left. But what Kate felt after he walked through the door, was emptiness. And she was lonely.

* * *

**Seeing as I decided to put emotional stuff in each chapter, I kind of separated this first one, so you wouldn't get overwhelmed, because sometimes my dialogues are hard to process, especially if the characters are being emotional. **

**Stick with me on this story, though. It'll be a fun adventure. :)**

**Ariela**


	2. Chapter 2

**Forgive me for being rude and not updating sooner. I have literally just written this in like, an hour and a half, which is almost a record for me.**

* * *

The third week after the accident was the most emotional one for Kate.

It wasn't just Castle and their evolving relationship she had to worry about. It was also Kate's frustration with not being able to go back to the precinct yet. She still had to pass the physical and psychological tests and it wasn't that she was afraid of not passing them, she was just tired of being at home all the time and not having anything to do.

Basically, she was bored as hell and didn't know what to do other than take short walks up and down the street, all with the help of Castle of Lanie – who also came to visit often – or the boys, but that rarely ever happened, because they were almost always working.

Kate was also tempted to look into her mother's murder again, and she had already pulled the files out one day, when there was a knock at the door.

It was Castle. And when he saw the files on her kitchen counter and the window shutters, that hid Kate's murder board, opened he reacted very strangely.

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

"What the hell do you think you're doing, Kate?" Castle asked her timidly, instead of his usual kiss-Kate's-cheek-and-ask-her-if-she-needs-anythin g routine. Kate usually didn't get scared, especially not around Castle, or because of him, but this time, she was. She had to admit. She was absolutely frightened about Castle leaving and not ever coming back, because she just couldn't keep her nose out of her mother's murder.

"I was just – look, Castle, it's not what it looks like, I swear, I was –"

"You were what? Diving back headfirst into your mom's murder? Trying to get yourself killed!? Jesus, Kate. Do you even realize what you're up against?"

Kate's mouth fluttered open and closed a few times, before she noticed that Castle seemed to know something she didn't. And she was very, v_ery_ intent on figuring it out.

"No, I don't. What _am _I up against, Rick? Since you seem to know so much more about it?" she demanded, her tone steel hard and ice cold. Castle visibly flinched. Kate wasn't sure if it was because of the way she asked the question or because he actually _was _hiding something.

Castle's eyes lowered to the floor as he palmed the back of his neck with his left hand.

He was hiding something from her. Kate was sure of it.

"Castle." The man in question looked up and looked at her with eyes full of regret and sorrow. There was no anger from before. It was just that. Regret and sorrow. And _guilt_.

"Castle," Kate tried again, but her voice shook with fear that was clenching inside her stomach. "What did you do?" she whispered and Castle's lips tightened into a straight line.

"I did it to protect you," he started and Kate could already feel sick with dread. "He called me out of the blue. And he – he has the files, everything's in there, so –"

"What files? Rick, what the hell are you talking about?"

"About Johanna's murder. And the conspiracy. Smith – the man who called me, although I presume that is not his real name – has the files. He knows the name, Kate. So he struck a deal with them; you don't investigate the murder, you stay alive." Kate looked pale as a ghost. She felt that way, too. She couldn't even process his words well enough to understand that someone out there knew the name of the man who ordered her mom's murder, that someone was trying to help her, but what-

_Oh my God_, Kate thought.

"What do _you _have to do with this? Castle. Are you a part of this?" she hissed out, her eyes watering, her teeth pressing against her tongue to ensure she didn't say anything more, instead waited for Castle's answer. Her heart drummed against her ribcage.

"If Smith were to protect you, he needed the help of someone who could make you stop investigating." Kate's eyes clouded over. It was him all along. He had the information that could give her the break she needed, that clue that could finally lead somewhere solid. But he didn't say a word about it for nearly a whole year, instead pretended that everything was fine, that she was fine, and the only thing keeping her alive was a dumb deal her partner had made because he thought he could save her?

No one could save her. Not even Castle. That was what she kept saying to herself anyway.

"Why? Why would you keep this from me, Castle, this was the one thing that could end it all and you hid it from me, like it was something you had the right to do. It's my mom, Castle. It is _my _life. You kept bulldozing into it, and you've gone too far this time, for God's sake, you put your _own _life on the line. You betrayed me," she gritted out, the tears she had been trying to keep at bay spilling over the hills of her cheeks.

Suddenly, Kate felt too exposed, too vulnerable. She wanted to run away, from Castle, from this whole case, from her catastrophe of a life and cry herself out. Instead, she had a broken leg and a broken relationship all at the same time, even if she didn't want any of it.

Her whole damned life was a freaking mess. She didn't know why Castle would even want to wait for her, why he would want to stay. She wasn't worth it.

And that is when Kate realized that she couldn't let this one thing ruin them. She didn't want to. She had been trying to be more for him, to be able to be with him without her imperfections trying to destroy her all the time, but this was her mom's murder and _oh God, _she couldn't _breathe_.

"Kate, are you – Kate!" was the last thing she heard before the black dots swarming her vision filled into total darkness and she passed out.

* * *

Waking up wasn't exactly magnificent after that. Kate had a headache and as she turned onto her side in her bed, she found a glass of water and some pain relievers on the nightstand.

She sighed internally. _Castle_.

"Hey," came the quiet voice from the doorstep. Castle was leaning against the doorjamb with his hands in his pockets. He was wearing a pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt that accentuated his physique. Kate told herself she couldn't think about that right now and instead focused on taking those pills.

She stretched her left arm to gather them in her palm and swallowed them quickly, then appreciated the feeling of cold water running down her throat. She put the glass back on the nightstand and sat up in the bed.

Castle hadn't moved the entire time. His tired eyes stared her down, once she plucked enough courage to look at him.

"You feeling any better?" he asked. Kate nodded.

"Yeah. I'm fine." There was a couple of seconds of awkward silence, before Castle sighed and covered his face with his hands, exhaling loudly.

"What am I going to do with you?" Kate could hear from beneath those fingers pressed against his face. He sounded so wrecked.

"Shouldn't I be the one asking that?" she replied instead of commenting on his voice. He dropped his hands and came to sit on the side of the bed in front of her.

"Kate. I was thinking. Maybe I pushed you too much back at the hospital. Maybe you could use some space from me."

Kate gaped at him. "No," she said then. Castle's eyes widened in shock at her refusal.

"What do you mean?"

"It means that I'm saying no. You're not running away from this and I'm not running either. We agreed to give it our best, Rick, and I want to do it. I'm so sick of everything coming between us and pushing us apart, and I want to talk things through. I don't want to take a break from you. You're pretty much the only thing still keeping me sane at the moment and if you go, I don't know how I'll even function. Please. Don't go," she whimpered. She mentally cursed her needy and desperate voice, but at the same time, she mentally applauded herself for standing up for what she wanted, for finally listening to her heart.

Rick couldn't say a word. All he could do was stare at her with open mouth and eyes wide as the Pacific.

"Rick? Say something." Kate's voice finally brought Castle out of his . . . whatever that was, but oh man, did it feel good to finally hear words like that come out of Kate's lovely mouth. Speaking of Kate's mouth . . . She was currently biting her lip so hard, she was going to pierce the skin any second.

"I really want to kiss you right now," was all that Castle could say. It was one of those moments when his filter just kind of failed him. And come on, who didn't want to kiss Kate?

The detective stiffened, her lower lip escaping from the confines of her teeth, her mouth shaping to form an 'o'.

But she didn't say no.

Rick internally cheered.

And also, moved closer to Kate, his breath fanning over her skin. He raised his hand, ran a thumb up her arm, then clasped his palm over her shoulder. Kate was shivering, her eyes glazed, the pink line above her chin glistening, her legs spreading to make it able for Castle to come nearer. And he did. He kneeled on the bed, in the vee of her legs, one of his hands now already caressing Kate's neck and diving into the curls of her hair. His other hand wrapped around Kate's hip, fingers stroking over the thin line of skin above the hem of Kate's sweats, where her t-shirt had ridden up. His face came closer.

"Castle," Kate half-whispered, half-moaned, and her lids fluttered, eyelashes almost slashing across her cheeks.

They were maybe two inches apart, noses already bumping and tongues wetting lips, fingers gripping so hard they were bruising, rapid breathing and heartbeats so loud, trapped in such a small, intimate moment in a quiet room, when it happened.

Castle's phone rang, and he and Kate both startled so hard, they almost smashed their heads together. After avoiding that disaster, Castle jumped back, away from Kate, and unintentionally almost toppled off the foot of the queen-sized bed.

Kate didn't know if she should laugh or just not say anything, not _do _anything, because they were _so damned close _to kissing, and she was going to freak out.

"Alexis. Hey," Castle breathed out into the receiver, then looked nervously at Kate, running his free hand through his hair. "Wait, back up. What did she do?" he asked Alexis, then sent Kate a look, excusing himself, and he left the bedroom, shutting the door after him.

That left Kate enough time to plop down on her back, stare at the ceiling and then, when she could feel her mouth stretching up, her cheeks moving, her teeth baring themselves to the air, Kate turned her face into one of the pillows, bit the fabric, and tried not to scream out like a teenager too loudly.

HERE COMES THE LINE. (:

She found him by the front door, putting on his shoes, his back turned to her. Of course, Kate took the opportunity to check him out. She was only human, after all. And also in love with this man.

_What!? _

Okay, so 'in love' might had been a bit of a strong phrase for something like this, but at the same time, Kate wanted to hit herself, because _yes, she admitted, she was in love with him, head over heals and all that cheesy stuff_.

A smile broke out on her face, and that's how Castle saw her when he straightened up.

"What are you smiling so cheerily about?" he asked her, slipping his suit jacket up over his arms and onto his shoulders. Kate could feel herself getting hot.

"Nothing," she lied, but shuffled closer. "Are you leaving?" she asked, then remembered how she had begged him not to, just before he almost kissed her and she almost let him.

"Yeah. Alexis, she um . . . Mother's brought her acting class into the loft again, and Alexis has given up on studying or just being there, so she asked me if I could meet her for ice cream and coffee down the street."

"Oh," Kate replied. She wasn't happy that he had to go. Hell, if he didn't get that call, they'd be making out like a couple of horny 16 year olds, for sure. Then she'd be happy. But not now. Not when she'd been bored and alone and she missed him the very second he stepped through the door every time he left.

"You know, you could . . . you could come with us."

Kate shook her head. "I wouldn't want to impose, Castle. Besides, I don't really know how Alexis feels about me at the moment, and I also can't really go that far, seeing as I should still be resting as much as possible. So, I guess no."

"Kate."

"Castle. I'm serious. You've been here every day for the past three weeks. Go be with your daughter. I'm sure you miss her," Kate reasoned. She wanted to be selfish and tell him that she would come with, but at the same time, he wasn't just hers. Well . . . she didn't even know if he was even a bit hers.

"Okay. I do miss her. But I miss you too, you know." Her stomach fluttered.

"You haven't gone yet."

"I'll miss you when I do go. It's weird, not being around you."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean," Kate told him sincerely and gave him a warm smile. Castle stepped closer and enveloped her in his arms. He smelled like lavender and coffee and softness and _home_. Kate never wanted to let go. But then _he_ let go. He smiled at her, brushed a wayward strand of hair out of her face, then leaned down to kiss her cheek, just a breath away from her mouth, lingered there to brush his lips against her jaw once again.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said as he stepped back and opened the door. Kate exhaled shakily and nodded.

"Tomorrow."

And then he left.

* * *

**So I wanted to get this secret out of the way, too. They WILL talk more about this, just not right now. **

**I don't really have an excuse for not uploading this sooner. I tried to write so many times, but I just couldn't. Until today.**

**Thoughts? (:**

**Ariela**


End file.
